LFC Rumour Mill serves up a feast of forwards and midfielders

The international break means a lack of stories for the tabloids so they’ve wasted no time in turning their attentions to writing some wonderfully creative transfer stories.

Following the well applied football rumour mill formula of adding two plus two to equal five, Liverpool are linked with a host of players this week – although, most of them are regurgitated names from the summer.

First up we have the actually believable latest on Victor Valdes. The latest being that the Spanish stopper will either have a trial, or undergo a medical, this month – depending on what you read / who you believe.

LONDON, ENGLAND - Wednesday, May 6, 2009: Barcelona's goalkeeper Victor Valdes during the UEFA Champions League Semi-Final 2nd Leg match against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. (Photo by David Rawcliffe/Propaganda)

Either way, it seems Liverpool’s interest in Valdes is legitimate and a free transfer signing could be imminent, providing the experience and competition to Simon Mignolet.

Mind you, The Daily Star claimed on Wednesday that Liverpool were not just on alert, but RED ALERT (see what they did there) because Iker Casillas has said he once thought about moving abroad. Turns out those quotes were from a few months back.

Next up we have a great case of two plus two formula. Napoli’s Marek Hamsik has been quoted on his future saying “I prefer not to talk about that” – cue The Express explaining how that “the coy response is likely to set alarm bells ringing for any of the midfielder’s potential suitors.”

Back to The Daily Star and they claim Liverpool will offer Lucas and £22 million to Napoli’s Argentine forward Gonzalo Higuain. They cite reports in Brazil and claim “Higuain is a key figure at the Italian side, but could be forced out as the club face up to life outside of the Champions League.”

Think we’ve heard that one before.

SWANSEA, WALES - Thursday, February 20, 2014: SSC Napoli's Gonzalo Higuain in action against Swansea City during the UEFA Europa League Round of 32 1st Leg match at the Liberty Stadium. (Pic by David Rawcliffe/Propaganda)

To you, to me. It’s The Express’ turn to link Liverpool with a forward they (probably) don’t have any interest in but have been linked with before so on a slow news week like this we’ll regurgitate it again. This time they drew out Klaas-Jan Huntelaar in the office tombola. Huntelaar is 31.

Back to The Daily Star we go, and this time it’s a new name – Lazio “wonderkid” Keita Balde Diao (somebody’s been playing too much Football Manager). They claim “according to new reports, the Reds are now ready to offer a deal closer to the £15m asking price first asked by Lazio to help beat their Premier League rivals to the signing.” Arsenal are also interested. Of course they are.

The prolific Chisanga Malata of The Daily Star also claims Liverpool are after Newcastle‘s Cheick Tiote. The most incredible thing here is how many contacts and exclusives Malata has (especially for a man whose LinkedIn profile lists him as a waiter at Zizzi restaurants and part-time freelance journalist. Imagine all those Premier League managers dropping in his restaurant each night and telling him exclusives).

It must be The Express’ turn to draw a name out of thin air here; how about Yohan Cabaye? Yep, he’s unhappy at PSG and so could be heading back to the Premier League.

And, for one last hurrah today, The Metro (reporter with no name given) claim “Liverpool are closing in on the signing of Marco Reus with Borussia Dortmund already working on signing a replacement for him.”

Presumably you’ve either spilt your drink, dropped your phone or had a mild heart attack reading that last one so we’ll leave it there for today.