Britain Ain’t Got Talent!

Great to see the club finally get their act together in the transfer market. Rodgers, Ayre and Co have been busier than a cross-eyed blackberry picker getting some of the club’s transfer business done early and it makes a refreshing change from what we’ve become used to in recent years.

I’m old enough to remember perhaps our greatest ever transfer window. That was the glorious summer back in the 80’s when the club announced the signings of Barnes, Beardsley and Aldridge. I was more excited than a priest at an altar boy convention and to cap it all off, all three combined to score in the first game of the season. Great days, but since then our transfer activity over the years gradually went from bad to worst.

Transfer highlights over the past couple of decades are rare and about 90% of our signings have been about as much use as an Amish electrician! Our list of past transfers reads like a who’s, who of so what!

A typical summer transfer window in our recent past would consist of us waiting for Rick Parry to return from holiday, for 10 months of the year we couldn’t give a monkey’s fart what he did with himself but for the couple of months we actually needed him, he would go on holiday. And even when he did eventually return he’d paddle around in circles like a one-legged duck!

Last summer was another disaster but the winter window was successful and this summer has seen a great improvement in our transfer activity so far. It’s not just the pace at which the business has been done but also that the club seems to have finally woken up to the fact that when it comes to football, we don’t need a smug faced prat like Simon Cowell to tell us that Britain Ain’t Got Talent!

The club’s fixation on signing British/English players in recent seasons has been frustrating and extremely costly. It makes my blood boil and leaves me shaking like a dog shitting glass to think of the £80million spent/wasted on the signings of Carroll, Downing, Henderson and Adam, not to mention the “free” signing of Joke Hole who cost the club an absolute fortune in signing-on fees and wages.

A complete and utter waste of resources on a bunch of players nobody else particularly wanted. There is little talent and absolutely no value in the English market and not much up and coming talent judging by the results of the England Under 21’s and Under 20’s during the summer.

The England Under 21’s, including our own Henderson and Wisdom, were knocked out of the European Championships losing all three of their group games and the Under 20’s captained by our own Conor Coady were knocked out of the World Cup also at the group stage, drawing 2 and losing their other game, in fact they haven’t won a game at the Under 20 World Cup since 1997!

As we’ve already found to our cost, established English players are completely over-priced and the young up and coming talent just doesn’t seem to be there, beyond what we already have. So it’s excellent to see the club using its scouting network to shop in other markets where the quality and value is much better and we can continue to develop our own home based players such as Kelly, Wisdom, Sterling and Coady among others.

So it’s all positive and I’m very happy with the signings so far. I think if the season were starting this weekend Marmalade, Coolio and Asda would be in our first eleven and Carlos will be competing with Tino. Of course every transfer is a gamble regardless of price or reputation but you can at least push the odds as much as possible in your favour and I believe the Rodgers and Co have done that with these four signings.

I thought £9million was a little pricy for a goalkeeper initially but on reflection Marmalade has established himself as a top goalkeeper over the past two or three seasons in the Premier League and he is still a baby in goalkeeping terms so I think we’ve done well here.

Coolio is a very clever signing in my opinion. He is very experienced and well acquainted with the defensive requirements involved in playing for a young attacking side from his time at the Gooners. I think he lost his way a little at City but at 32 he still has the tools and if he is as motivated as he sounds he could prove to be the bargain of the summer. If we get two or three seasons from him it will buy us the time we need to bring on the likes of Kelly and Wisdom.

I guess we’ve all seen the You Tube clips of Asda and Carlos by now and they both look like exciting prospects, but You Tube clips can be deceptive. But at approx. £7million a piece the odds are loaded in our favour. I think they’ll both be fine and I’m looking forward to seeing what they will bring to the side.

More signings will undoubtedly follow. My money’s on a left back, a centre back and another attacker, hopefully Mika Maka can be persuaded to come here for his Tika Taka, but if Suarez leaves it’s going to be a momentous task to replace his goals and influence. It’s a glum prospect, but you’ve got to take whatever positives you can from the negatives and make the best of things.

So on the plus side his verbal diarrhoea at the Confederations Cup has at least alerted the club early to his intentions and I’ve no doubt Rodgers and Co will be already formulating plan B and C. And of course the other big plus is that Suarez signed a fresh contract last season and he will be going nowhere without the club collecting a big chunk of change to fund replacements. I’d still much rather have him with us next season but at least there are some options if it doesn’t work out.

Finally, the very best of luck to Jonjo Shelvey on his £6million transfer to Swansea. This is one of those transfer moves that I think benefits all parties. Swansea get a decent player, Shelvey gets regular football and Liverpool gain extra funds from a fringe member of the squad. He won’t be the last to leave this summer, or at least I hope not!

Keep the Faith